With the dynamic nature of human language – its spoken token, its phonetic sound, and its written form with its individual parts, its lexemes or words – we notice that in its coming into form, in its evolution, something is alive in it, which is essentially the lost spirit that lived in man’s universal language- (Genesis 11:1–9). It never seems to rest long enough for me to grasp what is lost in translation – not just in the meaning that travels from person to person, when someone shares from the same native tongue, but also, of course, when the meaning that shoots forth from the lips of the speaker has to enter another language, with all its particular nuances, in order to be communicated. What about taking this further, when we enter that inner feeling of slipping into those abysses—when one contemplates, tries to live into what is lost between this world and a world that knows no natural laws? How does meaning begin, is born with no form of phonetics, no vibratory substance to attract, no air to ride on, and no theory of acoustics to shed light on it? One can certainly begin to receive a slight glimmer of this unseen movement, if one spends any time at all trying to grasp the great religious imagery and ritual – its significant truths- and how it has been passed on through the millennia. One can see the very laminin-like spirit holding certain axioms together, gently transforming them at the right moment. For one can most certainly understand – even if just a little – the spiritual power that was needed to bring about such a process as beginning with some invisible cosmic developing force – writing the architectural contours of the cosmos then transforming this same activity, causing it to recede in some respects, or to make a sacrifice – assist it to become less by involving it in a quieter role of transmitting divinity’s artistic impulses – working on a smaller scale than that of the sacred geometry that structured the universe. Oh the immense power that must be at work that is able to carry on meaning from those ancient Semitic languages reforming their initial impulses into our modern English after having been sifted through and through by its contact with Greek and Latin. A path that very eerily seems to have been actually traveled in the lives of the one that spoke this in relation to his life’s work, and the one that was to come after him. [The Baptiser/Raphael] It does in fact become clearer when one learns, or is taught, how language develops, comes to life in the psyche of man – perhaps even is shown some of the subtle qualities one has over another, what particular language is better suited for conveying, this or that. Many years ago, someone was confiding in me, or likely the other way around—as I was always one that needed help to stand firm – I was informed that the German language had a word that English in no way can convey – it was for the experience one has within when perhaps they want to, but simply cannot, be happy for someone else’s joy or success. So when we take a little time to pull out of the words we encounter or extract more of its coming into shape, we can then experience a fuller measure of the gunst granted by the geist, a small reward in the form of a response that one does hear coming from that still small voice – their I AM – that says, ” this is enough for now’. In time, as one’s understanding changes, one can separate their chaotic ideas – ones that have not been entirely linked together and have them settle into a serenity that lets one not necessarily rise to give a lecture on the origin of speech sounds, but one can feel it within that the mystery that is my growing pains is not so black, and that there is light shining in the darkness. In English, I typically think of resentment and envy and the coloring that those definitions may inspire when I encounter this spirit of missgunst. I do want success ,it’s just that I have no idea what that looks like anymore. Things have become rather different as the middle of life has come upon me and being happy for someone, to the inner degree that I want or think is possible, has not yet taken hold of me.
Music – Bastille. “Way Beyond.” Wild World, Virgin EMI Records, 2016.